Miss Congeniality
by darkchakram
Summary: Written for Starburst Challenge 67. Aeryn runs into a little trouble at the Spicy Tarnap Festival.


Miss Congeniality

By Irreversibly Contaminated, aka darkchakram

Rating: R (maybe a little NC-17 at the end)

Disclaimer: Farscape characters belong to Henson, I am just taking them for a spin.

Starburst Challenge 67 – Festival

Pairing: John & Aeryn established

Spoilers: Takes place a year after PK Wars, so anything is game.

Leave it to John to land them in the one town, on the one planet, in the one system, in the one galaxy, in the universe that celebrated the spicy tarnap festival. Of course, they had had little choice but to ask for permission to land. They were low on food and supplies. Plus Moya's amnexus fluid had been running thin and Aeryn hoped to pick up some Yerva nutrient to fix the problem. Noranti was absolutely delighted with their timing. She looked forward to trying all the varieties of spicy tarnap, a root vegetable, which could be prepared, she told Aeryn, over two hundred different ways. Aeryn never quite understood the fascination with food, it served a purpose, provided energy and essential nutrients. Beyond those basic needs, she never gave food much thought. On Earth, she had tried and enjoyed chocolate, ice cream, and popcorn but decided that her favorite human food was pancakes but Aeryn could not even imagine an entire festival dedicated to pancakes.

At least the weather was nice. It was a beautiful Spring day in the town of Palma. The planet, Benton, was in what John had called the goldilocks zone; it was very similar to Earth. Sixty percent of the surface was covered with water, and the planet was tilted twenty-five degrees on its axis creating seasons on most of the planet. Fresh flowers lined the city streets and the market square was decked out in banners in celebration of the annual festival. People from all over the galaxy milled about the various stalls that vendors had set up to pitch their tarnap products. Aeryn had seen a Hynerian, a Luxan, a Kalish and a pair of Vorcarians but the crowd was dominated by Bentonians and Sebaceans. Aeryn looked over the tarnap offerings at a market stall, she shifted D'Argo form her right hip to her left to keep him from picking at the vendor's wares. She couldn't believe how much he had grown in the cycle since he had been born.

"Mamamama," he grumbled in frustration at not being able to reach the orange root vegetable.

"Excuse me, ma'am," the Bentonian vendor called to Aeryn in an accent eerily similar to her husband's, "the little feller can have one of these if it's okay with you." He handed Aeryn a tarnap chip, she offered the Bentonian a half-smile and accepted the chip. The Bentonian looked trustworthy, but Aeryn well-knew that looks were often deceiving. Bentonians looked similar to Sebaceans, though not as similar as humans did. Their ears were pointed at the tops and their necks were longer by a few inches. This particular Bentonian had kind purple eyes with yellow irises. Still, Aeryn sniffed the tarnap chip and took a test-bite out of it before handing it to her son.

"Thank you. Any place to purchase Yerva nutrient around here?" Aeryn asked.

"Two streets down take a left," the vendor pointed with his three-fingered hand, "Suzeebell's store is about three doors from the corner. Can't miss it, the sign is huge."

"Thanks, and we'll take a bag of those chips," Aeryn fished a couple of brandar tiles from a pouch that was hooked to her belt and gave them to the vendor.

"Did you find a place to pick up the nutrient Moya needs?" John asked as he came up behind Aeryn and placed his hand on the small of her back.

D'Argo reached for his father with his chubby little hands, "DaDa."

"Come here buddy," John picked Little D up and tossed him in the air a couple of times making the child giggle hysterically.

"That vendor said there's a place just around the corner. I was going to head that way now, you want to come with me?"

"Actually, the parade is getting ready to start over on Main St. I thought I would take the little guy over to watch it. Didn't think you'd care too much to skip the it."

"Frelling acrobats and pack animals, you're right about that. Okay, so we'll meet back here in an arn?"

"How 'bout we meet at this place?" John handed Aeryn a brochure for a rather upscale restaurant.

"What's here?" Aeryn asked.

"Well, Mrs. Crichton, by my estimation, it has been a cycle since you agreed to saddle yourself to this old cowboy for life and I would like to take you to an anniversary dinner. I picked up some gifts for D's birthday and we are going to have a bonafide birthday party when we return to Moya but I have asked Noranti to take the baby back to Moya after the parade so you and I can spend an arn or two enjoying each other's company."

"Won't Noranti be upset about cutting her trip to the Tarnap festival short?"

"Nope, she said everything here was overpriced and she had already spent way too much on tarnap. In fact, she sounded like Bubba from _Forrest Gump_ when she told me all the different types of tarnap she had bought. She's going with me and D to the parade in hopes of catching some candy to take back to Pilot. Apparently he's never had succorballs."

"Zukkorballs?" Aeryn arched an eyebrow at the curious name.

"S-S-Succorballs, nevermind. Don't ask?" John replied

"I won't. Just don't let her give any of those zukkorballs to the baby."

"Don't worry, I will tell her all confections are off limits for D'Argo," John promised.

"Okay, so we're a meeting at," Aeryn looked at the brochure which conveniently was printed in Bentonian and Sebacean, "the Brass Lantern in an arn."

John kissed Aeryn on the cheek, "See you then honey."

Aeryn smiled at the sweetness of her husband's kiss and thanked her lucky stars that she had found the happiness that she had, a happiness that she had never imagined, but that had become as essential to her as water, air, food, and her pulse pistol.

"Commander Crichton, Officer Sun," Pilot's voice came across the comm.

"Yes, Pilot?" John responded.

"Have you been able to locate the Yerva nutrient?"

"I believe I have found a place pilot, I am heading that way now, is there a problem Pilot?" Aeryn asked worried that they had ignored the thinning of Moya's amnexus fluid too long.

"Yes, Officer Sun, the fluid has become critically thin. Some of Moya's systems are shutting down. I am feeling rather weak and Moya is frightened."

"Be there as soon as I can Pilot, you stay strong," Aeryn said and handed John the brochure, "It was a good plan, maybe after we get Moya stabilized we can bring a pod back down and have that dinner."

"Deal, I'll round up Noranti and tell her that we need to skip the parade, we'll meet you at the transport pod, ASAP."

"Here take these," Aeryn handed John the dehydrated tarnap chips, "be there as soon as I can,"Aeryn said and sprinted toward the corner.

The door to Suzeebell's was open and Aeryn could hear the high-pitched voice of the Sebacean salesclerk long before she entered the store.

"What do you mean she is ill? I don't care how ill she is, she has to come, I've already invested so much in her. I can't find a replacement on such short notice. This is my year! Have that frelling diva here in half an arn! Hey, Hey, you can't hang up on me."

The salesclerk looked at the phone receiver in disgust, "Hang up on me, you bastard!" The plump salesclerk began punching in numbers to redial but then noticed Aeryn standing at the counter.

She hung up the phone and gave her full attention to Aeryn, "Well, Well, Well, what do we have here? You will do quite nicely," the clerk rejoiced.

"Excuse me,"Aeryn was quickly getting a bad feeling.

"I am Suzeebell and today is your lucky day, Miss!" Suzeebell had a gleam in her eye that reminded Aeryn of Rygel.

Aeryn held up her left hand, "It's Mrs. And whatever you think it is that I would be perfect for, I am not interested. I need to purchase some Yerva nutrient and someone told me you were the person to see."

"Well, I told you this is your lucky day. I have plenty of Yerva nutrient in stock, tons of it and I will give it to your free of charge if you will help me out!"

"I am not looking for a hand-out, I'll just pay for it and be on my way, if you don't mind," Aeryn responded.

"See, now, that's a problem, I can't just let you walk out of here. You don't agree to help me, I ain't givin' you the goods," Suzeebell stated matter-of-factly.

"Look, I don't have time for this, I'll just get the dren somewhere else," Aeryn turned to leave.

"Not in Palma, you won't. I bought all of the supply from the last shipment that came in two weeks ago, I am the only merchant in town that's got it. So unless you got the time to go half way across the planet to Mushca, where the Yerva plant grows I am your best hope,' Suzeebell grinned in satisfaction.

Aeryn knew that even if she took the transport pod it would take a good three to four arns before they could get to Mushca, get docked, load the supply, and get back to Moya. With her jaw hardened she turned and walked back to the counter, "Alright, Suzeebell, I am Aeryn what's the frelling deal?"

"Well, ya see, my contestant just backed out on me and I need a beautiful Sebacean to take her place and you are just about her size."

"Contestant?" Aeryn asked.

"Yes, for the Miss Tarnap pageant," Suzeebell rubbed her hands greedily, in her mind she had already won the contest.

"Ah, see I can't help you, as I told you already I am a Mrs.," Aeryn hoped this loop-hole would get her out of this predicament.

"Oh hell, honey, they just call it that. You could be one hundred and thirty with six husbands and enter the pageant if you wanted to, you wouldn't stand a drannit's chance of winning but you could legally enter the contest."

"Dren," Aeryn muttered. "Alright, if I agree to represent your shop in this little pageant, you will give me the Yerva nutrient?"

"Can do." Suzeebell was now smiling so big, Aeryn thought the apples might pop out of her fat cheeks.

"Okay, but here's the thing, I need the nutrient now, it can't wait til your little contest is over. I get the goods now or I have to take my chances with a trip to Muscha."

"No good," Suzeebell was getting disheartened, "no reason for you not to run off once I give you this goods."

"You have my word," Aeryn promised, "Besides, why don't you just represent yourself."

"Cause I mean to win this year, I've been entering contestants for seventeen years, this is number eighteen and I aim to win. I got a feeling that a Sebacean has a chance of winning this year. The judges are more evenly balanced. Frelling Bentonians have dominated this thing. Plus I want to stick it to Scalle at Shop-a-rama. She thinks her store is so superior. The winner of this pageant wins a contract with the city for the entire year. Plus shoppers will flock here if I win. It is very lucrative."

"How many Sebaceans have won?"

"None, you'll be the first! Look, I ain't exactly a beauty like you so I really need you to do this. The lady I had lined up got sick on me, she was a real beaut, a little less bosom than you and a little more eema but we can make alterations rather quickly."

"Alterations?" This was a nightmare, Aeryn thought, how did they always find themselves in impossible situations?

"To the dress, now listen. I think we can work something out. If you agree to wear one of these until the pageant, I will deliver the nutrient wherever you need it within the half-arn," Suzeebell handed Aeryn a control cuff.

Aeryn took the cuff and looked it over. She doubted she was going to get a better deal. This was the fastest way to get Pilot and Moya what they needed. "Start loading the Yerva nutrient I'll need about fifty lenarts, I just need to comm my shipmates and tell them what is going on. You have a deal," Aeryn begrudgingly relented.

Suzeebell did a happy dance and clamped the cuff over Aeryn's wrist. She headed to the back of the shop to get the supply together.

John waited outside the transport pod for Aeryn and the Yerva nutrient. Her comm worried him. She had told him she had acquired the Yerva nutrient but that there were complications which she would explain when she got there but to expect her to be wearing a control cuff. John had secured D'Argo in the pod and told Noranti to stay on board with him. He hoped there wouldn't be trouble but better safe than sorry. He doubted Aeryn would have even returned to their pod if she felt that doing so would put D'Argo in any danger.

Aeryn was in the passenger side of the ground transport when it pulled up beside Moya's pod. The Sebacean driving reminded John of Furlow, her hair was fire red instead of blonde but she was heavy-set and had the same greedy grin.

Aeryn hopped out of the truck, "Let's start loading, I will explain while we work."

John tried to contain his laughter, he thought Aeryn might well punch him, "_Miss Congeniality_, huh?"

"What?" Aeryn asked getting really irritated with her husband.

"It's a movie."

"Yeah, well, ha ha, this is real. I've gotta dress up in some frelling dress, do a little song and dance, and answer some stupid questions. And the funny thing is that this idiot thinks I have an actual chance at winning."

"Is there a swimsuit competition?" John asked hopefully.

"Funny, big boy, but you will be on your way back to Moya with the Yerva nutrient,"Aeryn glared at John.

"Not on your life, no way I am missing this. I'll send Noranti and the baby but this I gotta see. What are you doing for the talent portion? Shooting someone?"

"You want to volunteer, John?" Aeryn responded icily.

John held up his hands in submission as they loaded the last of the crates.

"That should get it done, Noranti," John called to the old witch who had become a valued member of their family.

"When should we return for you?" Noranti asked.

"Just keep the comms open, I'll let you know as soon as I know."

"You ready little man?" Noranti asked D'Argo as she strapped herself into the pilot's seat.

John and Aeryn waved to their son.

"Fly safe," they said in unison.

"Pilot, this is John, Noranti is on the way, she should be there in less than a half arn."

"Moya and I thank you, Commander Crichton," Pilot answered but it was apparent that he had gotten weaker in the time since he had last commed them.

"No thanks needed, you just hold on." Crichton said.

"John, are you sure you don't need to go with them?"

"Dammit, when you are right, you are right!" John kissed Aeryn quickly on the lips, "Noranti, open the hatch, I'm coming with you. Be back as soon as I can, try to stall, I really wanna make the swimsuit competition."

Aeryn mock punched John in the gut, "Frell you!"

John faked injury. "I'd love to but I've got to save the day," he waggled his eyebrows lasciviously as he jumped into the transport pod and waved goodbye.

The Bentonian seamstress had poked Aeryn three times already. Aeryn shot the seamstress a warning look that said if you poke me again with your frelling needles I am going to spend arns and arns dissecting your eyeball with them. The seamstress worked more slowly and delicately which was hard to do with Suzeebell pacing in front of them checking the clock every thirty microts.

"Hurry it up, will you. I've gotta have her registered in two arns and we still have to work on a talent routine. Say, darlin' do you know any dance numbers?" Suzeebell asked hopefully.

"They didn't teach ballet as part of the Peacekeeper curriculum," Aeryn retorted, "so, no, I do NOT dance!"

"Peacekeeper, huh? Okay, Okay, so what are your unique talents?"

"Ex-Peacekeeper and I am an expert marksman and an accomplished pilot but I don't see how either of those skills is going to be great deal of help here."

"Look, as much as people go on and on about these gals needin' to be well-rounded, it is really a bunch of dren, this is really about how pretty you are and how you answer the questions. I mean we'll find you a talent. Do you do any acrobatics? Sing? Twirl a baton?"

"No, No, and No!" Aeryn didn't really care about winning the competition but she didn't want to make an eema out of herself either.

Suzeebell pressed the point, "Can't you even sing a bit? I mean don't you ever sing in the refresher?"

"Everybody sings in the refresher, but that does not mean it qualifies as a talent," Aeryn was getting antsy at standing in place, "you almost finished?" She asked the emerald eyed seamstress.

"Last touch," the seamstress responded, "now if you can just shimmy out of that I can get it ready in a half arn."

"I do not shimmy," Aeryn replied but began wiggling out of the sleek blue dress.

"Just for shits and giggles, let me hear you belt a few lines of the Peacekeeper Anthem," Suzeebell encouraged. She figured even if Aeryn was awful, a little confidence boost would be inspiring enough to get her agree to sing in the pageant.

"What?"

"Go ahead, just give it whirl," Suzeebell insisted.

"Fine," Aeryn spat as she put her leathers back on. She was not about to sing in her underwear in front of these two women.

Aeryn cleared her throat as Suzeebell and the seamstress leaned against the counter hoping for something spectacular.

Aeryn took a deep breath and centered herself, she could sing this song, after all it is how she had begun every morning as a child. When the morning alarm rang, young Peacekeepers had to report to their unit and with their right hand over their hearts sing the anthem. Only after that was done were they allowed to go to the refresher and relieve themselves. After a few times of struggling to remain perfectly still on a full bladder, Aeryn learned to not drink anything for three arns before going to bed. She still woke up with the urge to pee but it wasn't as overwhelming and she was able to save herself the embarrassment of receiving ten licks of the punishment rod for squirming during the morning anthem and pledge. The pain she could bear but the ridicule from her troop mates was the worst.

Aeryn hummed a few bars of the melody and then started singing.

_We do our duty with passion and pride_

_Protecting the galaxy far and wide_

_Fight, fight, fight, til the battle is won_

_Load the cannons! Ready your gun. _

"For the love of Randar, girl, you can sing!" Suzeebell was delighted. "What a lovely voice!"

"Really?" Aeryn looked at the chubby merchant in disbelief.

"Best I've heard since Choz D'ygman came here for concert last year."

Aeryn was vaguely familiar with Choz D'ygman, a Luxan crooner Sebacean women drooled over.

"Well, I can't exactly sing the Peacekeeper Anthem for the talent contest, can I?" Aeryn was trying to think of any other songs she knew all the way through. Other than lullabies which John had taught her to sing to D'Argo, she couldn't think of one.

"No, No, that won't do. People here are not too fond of the Peacekeepers, in fact let's not ever mention your past, okay?"

"Okay," Aeryn nodded in agreement.

"Do you know any love songs? People are suckers for love songs," Suzeebell asked.

"Sure are," the seamstress piped in.

"Shouldn't you be working on those alterations, Amesta?"

"Yes, ma'am, right on it," the Bentonian said and dejectedly scurried to the back of the shop.

"That was uncalled for," Aeryn chided, "she was just offering encouragement."

"Yeah, well I needed to encourage her to get her eema to work. Speaking of work, you and me still got a drenload of work to get done. How about "My love, My life, My Heart," it's a big hit," Suzeebell suggested.

"Don't know it," Aeryn shrugged her shoulders. John sang a lot of Elvis songs, maybe she could remember one of those.

"I'm just a hunk a hunk of burning love," no, that reminded her too much of Sebacean heat delirium, "Maybe I didn't hold you," no, too sad, "You ain't nothin' but a hounddog," nobody this side of Earth knew what a hounddog was, she supposed she could change it to you ain't nothing but a drannit. This was ridiculous, she just needed to pick something that she knew most of the words to and go with it.

"Hey, how about "Starfire," by Fren, everyone knows that," Suzeebell offered.

"Not everyone, apparently," Aeryn was on the verge of giving up and just singing the ABC song that John had taught her to help her learn the English alphabet.

"Just pick something, I still gotta prep you for the question and answer session, and we are wasting time on this sunny day." Suzeebell gruffly ordered.

Sunny day, Sunny day, that was it, Hezmana knew she had watched enough _Sesame Street_ DVDs with D'Argo the past six monens to pull that one off.

Aeryn began singing, "Sunny day, sweeping the clouds away, on my way to where the air is sweet, can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street?"

"Good, that'll work," Suzeebell was thrilled Aeryn had found a song, "now let's work on those questions. You hungry? We can order some candied tarnaps and sit on the patio."

Four arns later, Aeryn stood backstage in the beautiful sleek blue dress with silver accents waiting to make her stage debut. Aeryn felt extremely uncomfortable in the dress. It was snug and restricted her movements. Plus, it just wasn't her style, She wasn't the type to slather make-up all over her face and put on finery, but if it helped Moya and Pilot, she would endure it for the next arn. Luckily the control cuff was silver and looked like a frelling accessory. She had scored well in the swimsuit contest and received high marks for the question and answer portion. Things had actually gone very smoothly but as they called Aeryn's name she started feeling what John called "rattlers" in her stomach. She had heard of performance anxiety but had never had occasion to experience it. She had always done well in flying demonstrations and the like. But she was a confident pilot so she never got nervous about the trials like some Peacekeepers did. She was not so confident, however about singing, much less about singing in front of the entire town of Palma, plus out-of-towners and even off-worlders.

The tall Bentonian emcee called Aeryn's name again, "Aeryn Lyczak representing Suzeebell's." Aeryn had chosen to use her father's last name because both her name and Crichton's name had become too conspicuous after they had helped bring peace to the galaxy.

Aeryn was frozen.

Suzeebell poked Aeryn in the rib, "You're up, get out there now, before you ruin me!"

Aeryn's mouth was agape, her palms were sweaty, she couldn't do this.

Suzeebell prodded harder. "Go!"

The emcee called again, this time, dragging Aeryn's name out, "Aeeeeerynnn, Lyyyyczaaaaaaaaak,"

Aeryn tentatively walked forward. She saw the star marking the center of the stage, Suzeebell told her that would be her mark. Aeryn crept toward the star trying not to look out at the audience but the harder she tried to keep her eyes averted from the crowd, the more overwhelming the urge to look up became. Plus, she knew that looking down made her appear less than confident. Hesitantly, she looked up. The auditorium was full, she scanned the room and her eyes settled on a pair of warm, loving blue eyes, she had all the confidence she needed. She stepped up to the microphone and began singing.

_For all those times you stood by me_

_For all the truth that you made me see_

_For all the joy you brought to my life_

_For all the wrong that you made right_

_For every dream you made come true_

_For all the love I found in you_

Aeryn wasn't sure exactly how she was remembering the lyrics of an Earth song that she had heard only a few times but the song rang true to how she felt about John. She was definitely everything she was because he loved her. His presence in the audience just reminded her just how much he had become her rock, her shelter. She couldn't even remember the name of the singer but the lyrics flowed freely from her tongue.

By the end of the song, the crowd was on its feet but Aeryn's eyes had never left John's. The roar of the crowd and the accompanying applause reminded Aeryn that she was on stage, She looked at the audience, offered a bow and looked back to John. He was grinning with pride and there was a slight hint of arousal behind his mischievous eyes. He liked her in the frelling dress. He was probably getting a little kick out of the split that ran all the way up her right thigh. She'd give him a kick alright. Aeryn took another bow and headed back stage.

Suzeebell clapped furiously, "Ya did it, girl, you really did it! You sure got talent! We're sure to win this one!"

"I'm glad you are happy, I'll just be glad when the judging is over and I can get back to Moya." Aeryn smiled at John as he bounded into the room carrying a single kalip bloom.

"Speaking of Moya, she and Pilot are both recovering, the amnexus fluid has already started thickening. By the time we make it back up there, Moya should be ready to break orbit," John said then he leaned in and whispered, "you are radiant, Miss Sun."

Aeryn shrugged her shoulder thrusting it playful into John's jaw, "Behave yourself."

"Oh, I am having all kind of impure thoughts about you. You are damn sexy in this getup, you get to keep the dress?

"Even if I could, I wouldn't. What the frell would I do with this frippery?"

"Of course she would get to keep it, normally. I ain't a cheapy you know but I already gave you fifty lenarts of Yerva nutrient! That was the deal. Course you wanna buy it, I could let it go for say two hundred brander tiles."

"Hmmphf, I wouldn't pay two brander tiles for it, I just want my own clothes back."

"Two hundred tiles, huh?" John considered it, "nah, I prefer you naked anyway," he whispered to Aeryn.

Aeryn glared at the human.

"The judges have reached their decision," the emcee announced, "will all the lovely contestants please join us on the stage?"

Aeryn took her place in the lineup next to the other women, mostly Bentonians but there were a few Sebaceans in the mix, one was a gorgeous blond who had performed an exotic dance number and Aeryn was sure she had secured the top spot.

The emcee took the envelope from the lead judge and waited for the drum roll.

"Our second runner up is Clyra of Dorneys Foodliner" the emcee announced.

The blonde Sebacean stepped forward and accepted her bundle of purple kalip flowers.

More drum rolling ensued.

After a dramatic pause, "The microt we have all been waiting for, Your winner and this cycle's Miss Tarnap Day is. . . . . . . Aeryn of Suzeebell's!"

The emcee announced the first runner-up but Aeryn was unable to hear him over Suzeebell's squeals of delight. She had picked John up in a big bear hug and was squeezing his guts out as she bounced up and down. When she finally released John, he put both fingers in his ears and wiggled them as if he could somehow rid himself of the cacophony of noise that Suzeebell was making.

Aeryn accepted her crown, sash, and flowers, waved to the crowd and then immediately headed backstage. She handed the pageant paraphernalia to Suzeebell and demanded, "my clothes and this cuff off, now."

"Alrighty, Alrighty, you just gotta pose for a couple of photos and sign a couple of autographs. I'll have one of my associates bring your things right over. Go on now, meet your adoring fans. Oh and I will need you to shoot a real quick promo for my store. Garlock will help you," Suzeebell pointed to a young Bentonian production assistant.

Aerny rolled her eyes and followed Garlock. She could hear John snickering behind her. She made a mental note to punish him later.

Aeryn tucked D'Argo into bed. She could count on one hand the number of times she had been happier to be back aboard Moya. If they never visited Benton again it would perfectly okay with Aeryn.

She hoped John wasn't too upset about missing out on the fancy restaurant meal but by the time she had finished all of the press dren, she was tired and just wanted to get back to Moya.

Aeryn dimmed the lights in D'Argo's nursery and headed for command, where she had last seen John.

"Officer Sun," Pilot's voice came across her comm.

"Yes, Pilot?"

"Moya and I thank you for you travails in our service."

"You're both welcome."

"Commander Crichton requests your presence in Maintenance Bay Four."

"Thank you, Pilot."

Aeryn wondered what John was up to in Maintenance Bay Four, they hadn't used that bay in over a cycle. She stopped by their room and changed into some soft cotton pants and one of John's white tees. If he was up to what she hoped he was up to then cotton would come off so much quicker than leather.

John had strung strands of small twinkling lights throughout the bay. He had placed a two-top table in the middle of the floor. It was set with two place settings and a small vase of flowers, a tapered candle flickered in the middle of the table. A trio of DRDs sat off to the side playing a slow romantic tune.

"Care to dance Miss Tarnap?"

"That's Mrs. Crichton, thank you very much and I would be honored."

John took Aeryn's hand and they assumed their usual dancing stance with her feet atop his. Aeryn loved the feeling of swaying in his arms. Being near John gave her the only rush greater than combat flying.

"Since we couldn't make the Brass Lantern, I put together a little dinner here. I really think it is important that we celebrate our anniversary."

"What is it with people and annual rituals anyway? Birthdays, anniversaries, tarnap festivals?"

"It's a celebration Aeryn, a celebration of life, of endurance, of promise."

"Okay, birthdays and anniversaries maybe, but tarnap, it's a root vegetable for crying out loud. Who the frell celebrates that?"

"It's not the vegetable, it's that it brings people together at market every year, the tradition dates back hundreds of cycles."

"Right, I am the 357th Miss Tarnap!"

"You sure are, by the way, I had no idea you sang so beautifully."

"Neither did I but I had one hell of an inspiration."

"Yeah, and what was that?" John asked as he nuzzled his nose against Aeryn's.

"Let me show you just how thankful I am for you John," Aeryn responded and slid her tongue against John's bottom lip.

"What about dinner?" John teased.

"Let's have dessert first," Aeryn retorted.

"But the tarnap cake isn't finished yet."

"I had a slightly different dessert in mind," Aeryn continued the banter as she worked her hands at the hem of John's tee.

"Me too," John said as Aeryn pulled his tee over his head. John lifted Aeryn up. Taking the cue she wrapped her legs around his waist. John carried Aeryn over to a pallet he had prepared for them.

"Thought of everything, did you?" Aeryn asked, pleased.

"Yeah, but you know how my plans usually work out," John gently laid Aeryn down and settled in beside her.

"Well, it is the thought that counts.."

"Oh, I have lots of thoughts, lots and lots of thoughts, sure wish we could have kept that dress," John thumbed Aeryn's nipple through the tee.

The feel of John's thumb and the soft fabric against her nipple was driving Aeryn mad. Her boxers were quickly getting drenched. "You should have seen the frelling swimsuit," Aeryn rubbed her hand along John's growing erection. No reason for her to be the only one being teased.

"Swimsuit, there was a swimsuit competition?"

"Uh – huh," was all she could manage to utter as John snaked a hand into her pants and slid a finger along her dripping sex.

"Oh, well, as I said before, I prefer you naked!"

Fin


End file.
